Eric's poem and talk

July twenty-seven

Was a day that changed our life
How quickly our perspectives changed 
With heartache, grief, and strife

To lose a child suddenly
One early on in years
Is something that cannot be expressed

There are no words, just tears

And yet somehow in our tragedy
Amid our grief and strife
We witnessed God’s eternal love
And again it changed our life

When darkness comes in the still of night
And sleep is hard to find
We turn to Him who knows our pain
He knows our state of mind

Prayers are heard and answered too
In this there is no doubt
We have seen at every turn 
What Christ’s gospel’s all about

Our baby girl’s no longer here
On earth with us to dwell
But in our Heavenly Father’s plan 
We know that she is well

One thing that we have always learned 
Is families are forever
Through covenants and through faith in God
We are bound together

And so each day we must take time
For study and reflection
To learn of God and His plan for us 
And move in His direction

So we can return and live with Him
And our loved ones gone before
Death is an essential part
To live forever more

So when this life on earth is done 
With Taylor we will be 
Again united for all time 
To live eternally

For all of you who’ve done so much 
We wish to thank sincerely
For kind support and service to us
We truly love you dearly

These last four months has been one of the greatest trials of my life. And as I have had time to reflect and ponder on the plan of our Heavenly Father, I have come to appreciate one of many truths. But one in particular is the principle of agency. Why agency? Because I believe that we have the choice in all things to choose.

We can choose to be happy and move forward and seek the good amongst the bad. Or we can choose to lay down and make excuses for why we are not moving forward. For why our life isn’t as good as somebody else’. For why we are not going to live accordingly to the commandments that we have been given. It is easy say when life gives you lemons; make lemonade. But it’s a lot more difficult to when the punch of odor of lemon is overwhelming.

In one of the last sessions of General Conference Elder Daniel Johnson said our discipleship will be developed and proven not by the type of trials we face, but how we endure them. It doesn't matter if we are facing a loss of a loved one, unemployment, sickness, divorce, whatever it might be. There is a lot of trials that will come and go. It’s not of importance of what we face, but how we face it. And how we choose each day to how we live our life.

During this last four months we had the opportunity to attend a hospice greif camp. The name of the camp was Camp Compass. I really wasn't thrilled about going to this. This is not my cup of tea. I have a wonderful support network and I thought if I want to talk I have plenty people who are willing to talk and listen. However we went as a family. It was interesting to me as I reflect upon this experience that it was called Camp Compass because I had an opportunity to talk to with many other people who were in a similar situations to our own whether they lost children or spouses or loved ones.

They seemed to be searching for some meaning. Some direction in life on how to deal with all this. And the truth that I took away from this is just how fortunate I am to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. Because I already had my compass. I already knew the truths of the gospel and the peace that it brings to us.

Life does not begin at birth and it does not end when we die. But a lot of these people did not know these simple truths. And so they were searching for direction. They have been searching for sometime. Some of them three to five years, and yet the wound seemed as fresh as ours was just weeks before. Why the difference? Sweet is the peace the gospel brings. Because our Heavenly Father promises that if we come unto Him our burdens will be lifted or lightened. Not taken away. We still have our rough days. There are still times that it seems overwhelming, but we know the truth of the gospel.

In 1 Corinthians 15:19 the Apostle Paul said, “If in this life only we have hope in Christ we of all men are most miserable.” This isn’t the end. In the Old Testament the Lord told the prophet Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee. Before tho camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee and ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. He told Abraham, when speaking with him, “The Lord has showed unto me the intelligence that were organized before the world was and among these were the great and nobles ones and God saw these souls.”

And it says as Jesus passed by He saw a man which was blinded from his birth and his disciples asked him saying Master who did sin did this man or his parents that he was born blind. Jesus answered, “Neither him or his parents but that the works of God should be manifest in Him.”

Bad things happen to good people. Is it God’s will? No. Not necessarily. But He allows them to happen so that He can show his tremendous power, His love, the sacrifice that was made on our behalf. I have been blessed with a perspective which has caused me never to ask Why me? And I have felt guilty at times because maybe I should be feeling sometimes like other people think I should. And yet, I have realized that our Heavenly Father has blessed us with the strength to deal with our trials and tribulations. And as I talk with other people I have the feeling, wow, I’m sure glad I don’t have to deal with the things that other people deal with. Fortunately, we can all have that perspective and hopefully we will not face trails that we can not overcome with our Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ.

October 2006, Joseph B. Wirthlin gave an address in conference and it was recommended that we read this together as a family after Taylor had passed away, which we did. And I count it a great blessing and one of the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father that I was given this article. I generally don’t like to read from the pulpit, but I will because I don’t want to leave anything out of his comments.

He said. “I think of how dark that Friday was when Christ was lifted up on the cross.

On that terrible Friday the earth shook and grew dark. Frightful storms lashed at the earth.

Those evil men who sought His life rejoiced. Now that Jesus was no more, surely those who followed Him would disperse. On that day they stood triumphant.

On that day the veil of the temple was rent in twain.

Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Jesus, were both overcome with grief and despair. The superb man they had loved and honored hung lifeless upon the cross.

On that Friday the Apostles were devastated. Jesus, their Savior—the man who had walked on water and raised the dead—was Himself at the mercy of wicked men. They watched helplessly as He was overcome by His enemies.

On that Friday the Savior of mankind was humiliated and bruised, abused and reviled.

It was a Friday filled with devastating, consuming sorrow that gnawed at the souls of those who loved and honored the Son of God.

I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world’s history, that Friday was the darkest.

But the doom of that day did not endure.

The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.

And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wondrous praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.

Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.

But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.”

It was a Friday evening that Taylor was hit by a car and killed, so I can testify that dark Fridays will be apart of our lives, but I also know that as Paul taught the Corinthians He was the first fruits of them that slept. In 1 Corinthians chapter 15, it says, “But now is Christ risen from the dead and become the first fruits of them that slept. For since by man came death by man came also the resurrection of the dead for as in Adam all die even so in Christ shall all be made alive. After His resurrection, the resurrected Lord appeared to His apostles. They were talking amongst themselves. In the book of Luke we read of the time that is says Jesus himself stood in the midst of them and they were terrified and affrighted and supposed they had seen a spirit. And He said, “It is I myself; handle me and see. For a spirit hath not flesh and bones and ye see me have”.

There will come a time when our spirits will be reunited with our physical bodies, just as our spirits lived before we were born. And we were born into tabernacle of flesh and bones here on earth. We will die a physical death as is the course nature. But we will be reunited with our physical body and have the opportunity to live with our Heavenly Father once again. We did live before we were born and life does not end after this life is over.

My life is but a weaving between my Lord and Me

I cannot choose the colors He worketh steadily

Oft times He weaveth sorrow

And I in foolish pride

Forget that He seeth upper and I the underside

Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly

Shall God unroll the canvis and explain the reason why

The dark threads our as needful in the weaves skillful hand

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern He has planned

God loves each one of us. He knows our pain. He knows our sorrow. And yet, He wants us to have joy. It is our choice what choice of action we will take. It is our choice to find the good or wallow in the bad. Choose ye this day whom you will serve. As for me and my house; we will serve the Lord.